Resources for Families
Supportive families provide an invaluable resource to their confined loved ones. The National Habeas Institute recognizes that it can be incredibly difficult for families to communicate or visit with their loved ones who are confined, and it is especially hard to maintain the connection when the confined person has been absent from the home for years on end.
there are lots of ways to show your support and love.
Here is a list of ideas along with a few resources that we’ve found to help. The staff at the National Habeas Institute will add to this list as we learn of more resources and as we receive feedback from our clients and their families.
It sounds simple, but your loved one wants to hear about your daily life and the family gossip. They want to give advice to their children, nieces, and nephews. They want to bond over sports events. They want to hear who spoke at whose wedding or funeral. In other words, they want to feel included. Cards and letters are a great way to keep in touch, and they mean a great deal to confined family members.
write your loved one
Every prison and detainment facility has different rules. There should be a manual that lays out the rules in a clear manner for both your loved one and the family. These are rules about whether you can send money, pictures, or gifts. The rules will also explain about visitation and how to be added to the visitor list. Become familiar with the rules to help your loved one maintain a good record.
become familiar with the institution’s rules
Your loved one will very much appreciate it. Gifts in the form of money and/or care packages that comport with the institution’s rules are a demonstration of kindness and remind your loved one that you are thinking of them.
send money or care packages
If you say you are going to visit, keep your promise
Some prisons limit the number of in-person or “contact” visits. If your loved one is in a situation where the number of contact visits are limited and you have offered to visit, please keep your promise. Your loved one may not tell you that they are counting the days until you come, but many people in confinement look forward to family visitation days with the same excitement as a holiday.
If you are not able to keep your appointment, let your loved one know as soon as possible or apologize as quickly after the fact as possible. And be sincere. Your loved one knows you and thinks about you all the time. They want to hear that you feel the same about them.
Your loved one depends upon their lawyer to be their voice in the courtroom. And the lawyer depends upon you to help your loved one. The job of a habeas lawyer is to tell a petitioner’s life story in a compelling way. As a result, the lawyer needs to hear the petitioner’s entire story and may want to interview you or other family members to get the details of that story. The lawyer needs to know about the good, the bad, and the ugly moments of your loved one’s life. Sometimes, you may not want to talk about the more painful moments. Your loved one’s lawyer knows that. But it is better that you share the bad or ugly moments with the lawyer in your home, the lawyer’s office, or wherever you are meeting your loved one’s lawyer before that moment is shared in court. After you share with your loved one’s lawyer, the lawyer may explain how a particular moment is part of your loved one’s life story.